Times are getting tougher here. I definitely thought I would be back to work by now, but sadly it isn't so. If we thought things were rough last year financially, this year gives "rough" a whole new meaning.
I started to sell my photography equipment on Ebay. I have no choice. It's been sitting unused, which isn't good for the electronics. I am now completely positive that my energy level will never be high enough to allow me to use a full studio of equipment again. So it's for sale on Ebay.
Last week we sold a lighting system and a backdrop and stands. This week we sold a reflector system and I have another backdrop and stand set for sale. My husband has packaged everything up as the payments come through on Paypal. Systematically, every few days I have dropped off box after box filled with my past life at the UPS shipping center and watched it slide across the metal table and be put on the stack of other outgoing boxes. Boxes with pieces of my life to be shipped off to some stranger far away, who will never know what these items meant to me and my life.....and how the loss of them represents the bigger loss Lyme Disease has brought to my life.
I guess it's time to say goodbye. It saddens me, however. What I used to be able to do in a day, now takes a week sometimes. I have reached a level of acceptance although I have fought it tooth and nail. I think half the battle with any disease is accepting the hand you have been dealt without ever giving up. I am trying.
But now the important thing is putting some money from these ebay sales in our bank account and paying bills. At least I feel I am doing my share that way, by cashing in on my equipment.
After selling the rest of my equipment I am not sure what I could sell. My jewelry, furniture? Certainly no one would want my blood.
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